Becoming a mother is a unique experience that changes your life in every possible way. From your priorities to your daily routines, everything transforms once your little bundle of joy arrives. But amidst all these changes, one thing that often gets lost is your sense of identity. It’s not uncommon for new mums to feel like they’ve lost a part of themselves, or that they no longer recognize the person they see in the mirror. But fear not, it’s completely normal to feel this way, and there are ways to rediscover who you are and feel like yourself again. Here are some tips to help you get started:
Make time for yourself
One of the biggest challenges of motherhood is finding time for yourself. However, it’s important to carve out some time to do things that make you happy, whether it’s reading a book, taking a long bath, or going for a walk. It can be hard to justify taking time for yourself when you have a million other things to do, but remember that self-care is essential for your mental health and wellbeing. Speak with your partner or find someone who can care for little one, and at a minimum commit to this once a week as part of your routine, that makes it easier to keep it up and keep yourself a priority.
Reconnect with your hobbies
Did you used to love painting, sport, or playing an instrument before becoming a mum? It’s time to get back to your hobbies! Even if it’s just for a few minutes a day, engaging in activities you enjoy can help you feel like yourself again. Not only will it give you a sense of accomplishment, but it will also help you relax and destress.
Take care of your physical health
Your body has gone through a lot during pregnancy and childbirth, so it’s important to take care of it. Try to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. Not only will it help you feel better physically, but it can also boost your mood and energy levels. Remember, if this seems overwhelming, you can always start small and build your way up to it. Never underestimate the power and sense of accomplishment that can be achieved just by going on a 10 minute walk around the block. Once that becomes comfortable, work your way up in the way that works best for you.
Set realistic expectations
It’s important to remember that it takes time to adjust to your new role as a mother. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to “bounce back” or get back to your old self too quickly. Everyone’s journey is different, and it’s okay to take things at your own pace. Think of it as a ‘spring forward’ and enjoy discovering the joys and nuances of this new life that you’ve created.
Don't be afraid to ask for help
Being a mother can be overwhelming, so don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Whether it’s from your partner, family, or a professional service, there’s no shame in accepting a little extra support. Life isn’t meant to be a constant struggle, and becoming a mum doesn’t mean that you suddenly don’t deserve nice things and time to yourself. Don’t ask for help when you just can’t take it any more, employ a cleaning service to give you time to get your nails done, get your haircut, or any number of the things you used to do JUST for you.
Remember, becoming a mum is a life-changing experience, and it’s completely normal to feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself in the process. However, by making time for yourself, reconnecting with your hobbies, prioritising your relationships, taking care of your physical health, setting realistic expectations, and asking for help when you need it, you can rediscover who you are and feel like yourself again. Don’t forget, you are still you, just with a new and amazing title of “mum” added to your list of accomplishments!
